3's Keep 100% Record

Despite the fixture computer throwing up a home match against local rivals, skipper Layfield decided to confidently pass up the benefits associated with playing in familiar surroundings and opted to play in the 'lions den' of sir frederic Osborne school in Welwyn Garden City.

The match was played at the same time as the second day of the Ryder Cup and the pitch resembled the narrow fairways of the tricky 8th at Hazeltine. One can only assume that as it's a school pitch, the PE department at the school opted to shrink the dimensions of the AstroTurf to ensure little Billy and Johnny don't tire themselves out when playing non competitive hockey / rounders / bean bag races.

It was also interesting to see that in keeping with the golf theme, they had also decided to place a bunker in one of the halves of the pitch by cutting out some of the pitch and then not replacing it, but simply sticking it back down with some pritt stick (kids, ask some of the oldies what that is)

It made for an interesting first half as both sides decided to meet the challenge head on of the restricted width by playing quite literally up and down within the width of the goals and eschewing the cries of teammates who dared to place themselves within 5 yards of any touch line. It made for an instantly forgettable half of goalless hockey, where we established that wgc had some skilful, experienced players through the spine of their team and we knew that it was our worst effort of a currently unbeaten campaign. The only interesting elements were a disallowed goal from wgc where the number 9 showed a first touch that Wayne Rooney can currently only dream of with his right foot. Despite one umpire being unsighted by a grounded keeper, thankfully good sportsmanship prevailed with the striker admitting his giant clown feet had trapped the ball (after obviously being called a cheating **** by Renn). The only other point to note was Howie and Renn being caught up in the Ryder Cup fever by shouting loudly at team mates, Renn obviously with expletives to accentuate his point.... BA BA BOOOEY

At half time skipper Layfield laid down the law and demanded an immediate improvement from the Hertford unit. 3 touch hockey was the order of the day and the red swarm responded to the skippers exhultations with a solid if unspectacular ten minute stint.

After a number of good opportunities had started to be created, we finally got the breakthrough when a good run from Dicky down the right and a heads up pass via Arthur lead to Clive breaking the deadlock with an excellent finish GET IN THE HOLE/GOAL. It had that feeling of being a crucial goal as we looked exceedingly strong at the back and Jon Green who had been pushed into emergency sweeper duty comfortably mopping up everything that came his way. With Rob at right back growing in confidence every minute proving to be an excellent outlet as well as supreme in defence (think Kyle Walker 2016 version) Hertford gradually took control of the half and whilst never touching the heights of some of the hockey in previous weeks, looked always likely to prevail.

Renn obviously thought as much and continued to regale wgc and its environs with loud expletives, so much so that Steve Bailes eventually penalised him, but forgot to issue the card. You lucky boy....

The last 10 minutes saw a number of opportunities that our front line spurned, but as is often noted by the Match of the Day pundits, the mark of a good team is winning when you don't play well. So we must be bloody good....

Anyhow, another 3 points for the mighty stags, let's hope for some more aesthetically pleasing hockey this week, but with the same result. MASHED POTATO

I didn't return to the club so I've decided to add my own mom and dod.

Mom - Rob - simply outstanding on a day of mediocrity. However you might have to cog down some of this development otherwise you'll be relegated to the second team....

Dod - this was tough on a day of average attainment, but it still goes to THE SKIPPER for allowing us to play in the away teams home city. Don't blame the fixture secretary either