Potters Bar (3s) 2 - 5 Hertford (3s)

Saturday saw the final pre season friendly before league battle commences and the 3rds travelled to the relatively local Potters Bar. I say relatively local after the previous weeks excursion to Peterborough, a town that has a real sense of humour. Their football club are nicknamed 'the posh'. Anyone who has ever been to Peterborough (not including those who've fallen asleep in the last train home and ended up at the terminus) will realise that Peterborough has at times aspired to be Luton. Enough said. Apologies to anyone from Peterborough, but actually, if you're reading this, it means you've escaped, so congratulations are probably in order.

The week before the season is normally the time that Sky Sports news goes into meltdown at the excitement of West Brom v Sunderland on 'super Sunday' in a 7 days time (trading standards could certainly be contacted on that description). Our captain Layfield has a similarly excitable passion about him, his missives on Pitchero and email nearly reaching Chairman Bentleys volume (but not quite, obviously)

With this in mind, we arrived at Potters Bar with 14 players, pretty much all on time (Miles not playing obviously), raring to go. I must admit to having felt a bit uneasy before we started having had a full warm up, knocked a few balls about, cigarette and a catch up with those I'd not seen for a while and the oppo still weren't there. How would we play with all this 'preparation'?

Clearly Pitchero hasn't reached Potters Bar. The shambolic nature of the ten players arrival suggested they didn't have a daily email / update / text to remind them of the correct colour socks (although Alfred still didn't comply, which makes me think he's a bit of a maverick - like it) or start time. There was even talk of 'swapping players' in the event of it being 'one sided' at half time. More of that later

We started with a 4-3-3 formation. In all my time with the thirds this has pretty much always turned into a 4-0-6 formation after twenty minutes, so I looked forward to see what would happen under the new leadership.

The first ten minutes saw us play some great slick hockey in some pretty atrocious conditions. With youth on the flanks in Rob and Sam, potters bar were stretched by some great passing hockey and with our experienced midfield 3 releasing Arthur and Russell with some pinpoint passing, it was no surprise that we went 1 up through Renn smashing past their keeper. Despite dominating possession against the ten men, we couldn't quite make the telling second goal count through a mixture of great goalkeeping (think Maddie Hinchesque saves), shooting from slightly oblique angles (andy Williamson) and everyone in the front line deciding that we should handicap ourselves by only scoring on our reverse sides.

Eventually the pressure told and James Berry finished off a good move to make it 2 zip at half time, a comfortable enough 35 minutes, but really should have been 5 or 6

At half time the general consensus was we must finish off more moves and keep the ball moving as a total team, too easy in situations where you are on top to start dribbling and ease off.

Then as we were ready to start the second half, the opposition started shouting 'we've only got 9'. Jon Green grabbed a shirt from the oppo and thought he'd take the opportunity to get 35 minutes under his belt, as well as make Dicky pay for years of not passing to him by knocking it past him and running round to collect the ball on the other side.

Now if this was the end of the season, against a team that we weren't playing, I'd have no problem. But you tell me if in the week before the premier league season Jose Mourinho would 'lend' AC Milan Paul Pogba for 90 minutes cos the Italian outfit couldn't be arsed to get a team together (let's not forget potters bar run 6 teams, not some village outfit). The skipper nearly got my dick of the day vote for this act alone, he was only saved by Andy Williamsons sheer ineptitude in front of goal on Saturday (sorry andy, think I've removed the mystery from the secret vote there). Rant over

Second half underway, the oppo had a quick shuffle about in formation and started to look half decent. Notwithstanding some hatchet tackles from the lad in the turquoise beanie (I did see Renn asking where he got such a rascal number - I dare you Renn, the fines pot will be full to overflowing) we kept our shape well and repelled the black locust invasion. Until Geoff decided we needed to make more of a game of it and let their lad pop one in. Fair play Geoff, it was a bit dull in the second half

After their goal, Hertford sprung back into life and forced 7 short corners. Yes that's right 7. I know, as andy and I were watching and counting them. In true Hertford style, we proceeded to make a mess of every single one (plus to be fair their keeper was having one of those days) so it was equally of sporting of their centre back to knock one in the net. Technically, it went down as James Berrys goal, but I think we all agree his strike was heading for the corner flag...

We continued to attack, with Arthur looking particularly dangerous, but Berry and Williamson both met the keeper in inspired form, so it took Sam to show them how to do it with a fabulous reverse stick finish to make it 4-1.

With the 'bar' tiring, skipper stepped in front of their left winger to pick up the ball outside the 25 and went on a mazy dribble down the right. Eschewing the cries of his team mates in a far better position in front of goal (who could blame him, he'd watch them incapable of finishing their dinner let alone a chance for 65 minutes) he slotted home from a narrow angle and jogged back to his centre back position looking pleased as punch. And rightly so, as despite a last minute consolation for the oppo, we ran out 5-2 winners which stands us in good stead for the league campaign next week.

Post match gave a clear indication of why it's important to go back to the clubhouse after. Good to see so many of us, literally only one of them. Sam, next time let your dad come in, even if it is just to pay your match fee.

Mom - Sam - great all round performance with a fantastic finish (as well as having played rugby already)

Dick of the day - Andy Williamson - I thought this was very harsh mate, but you know, secret votes and all that make it easier for those to stab you in the back rather than tell you to your face. Probably come back to the clubhouse after so they can't do it again...

Onwards and upwards team, here's to next week. Make sure you read all the notifications to ensure you have the right socks. Apart from you Arthur, you wear what you want you legend