2's use their hockey sticks to good effect

The game was deadlocked up until the 69th minute. Both teams were pressing hard at each other, but neither could get through and score. Some outrageous saves from new-boy Pledger in goal kept a clean sheet, but a moment of magic from Graham finally gave Hertford a goal.

He picked up the ball from a 16, ran the length of the pitch, using his silky skills to beat every opposition player on his way to the Berko goal. But when he got round the keeper, he didn't feel satisfied. He wanted more. He really wanted to show everyone his new skills and tricks that he had kept hiding away for so long. The 69th minute of a goalless draw was the optimum time to show his team mates. He ran round the goalkeeper, ran over with the ball to the umpire, asked how much time was left, and was told he had 30 seconds remaining. He decided to do something so daring no one has ever tried to do before: he ran back with the ball to the Hertford D, and asked how much was left in the game. Only 5 seconds! He arieled the ball down the pitch. All the way down the pitch. And before it landed, he was there already, having sprinted 60 metres in 4 seconds, preparing to trap it and beat the keeper. But then he thought 'why trap it?' He did not trap it. On the volley, top of the D, he swung, he hit the ball so immaculately that it was burning up on the way to the net. It burnt a hole in the net, the only evidence that he had got it in was the singed net fibres around the hole. But the net wasn't the only thing it went through, no. It had gone through the fence, through a tree, and off the face of the earth in a perfectly straight line. It travelled faster than light. It is the only thing to go through a black hole and come out intact. It reached the edge of the universe, bounced off the edge (scientists can only guess), and has rebounded, shot across the universe, and landed back at Tring Sports Centre. The evidence that this ever happened is because Graham caught the ball, with stamps of landmarks such as Jupiter, Orion's Nebula, 'the edge of the universe', on the end of the stick. Unfortunately for everyone else at the pitch, they were at hospital, as their jaws had dislocated when they opened them in shock and awe.

These details are unlikely (about 55%) to be accurate, as the writer was not present for the game.
If they are accurate, then I wouldn't be surprised, 2's players are simply extraordinary.